reincarnated. more likely uh... i got back my blog.

hehe. thank you google.

recent thought

Regretting my fluctuating personality.

mess

Feeling uncomfortable with unacceptable reasons.
Haiyohhh.. I do not like this situation.
I'm still expecting things to be based on my demand.
It was my fault. No one else could be blamed. That's all?

little wish

She is a singer that I fell with. Yui Yoshioka has a very pleasant character, with her angelic voice, her soothing songs trapped me into fantasies. Unfortunately, she is a Buddhist. However, deep down inside my tormented soul, I still hope that one day Allah s.w.t will pour His light upon her so she can see the beauty of Islam, convert into a muslimah and feel the pleasure of Jannah in the afterlife. ;) If any non-muslim read this, I hope u won't be mad of me. Dear friends, if you are about to laugh, feel free to. I don't mind. Hehe. 

vengeance extinguisher

Deep down INSIDE, I heard a small voice "I hate you! Bring her back to me! You such a selfish woman i ever met, I'm bringing you down to the bottom of hell!!!"

Astaghfirullah hal azim.

Astaghfirullah hal azim.

Astaghfirullah hal azim. 

I had some thoughts about it. Is it worth to be vengeful?  Not at all. It will consume myself.

Allah is the most merciful.
Even our prophet Muhammad s.a.w has mercy on us, who he never met.
How could I have such ego to forgive a same human being as myself.
From that, I learn to try my best not to cause any anger to anyone, and to hold my temper, because I'm looking for the reward.

Well, this is another hope that I will be more accepting with my fate. Wept a lot already. Will that tears extinguish the flame of hell for me? Worrying.

destiny

All praise is due to Allah, after four years knowing her, I was able to meet her face to face. It was not yet the best moment in life but, that was still the moment I treasured. Without being so selfish to confess about my very feeling upon her, I let it remain silent, INSIDE. Well she already has a relationship. She has my respect. She deserves it. Most of all, after enduring such bittersweet loona life, I still have faith....in this kind of love. As a muslim, a pass my hopes and dreams to Allah s.w.t.

If she's destined to be my company, please let us meet again.
If she's not, hopefully I'm willing to accept the fate as it is.

 

You came to me in that hour of need
When I was so lost, so lonely
You came to me took my breath away

Showed me the right way, the way to lead

You filled my heart with love
Showed me the light above
Now all I want Is to be with you

You are my One True love
Taught me to never judge
Now all I want Is to be with you

You came to me in a time of despair
I called on you, you were there
Without You what would my life mean?
To not know the unseen, the worlds between

For you I’d sacrifice
For you I’d give my life
Anything, just to be with you

I feel so lost at times
By all the hurt and lies
 Now all I want Is to be with you

Showed me right from wrong
Taught me to be strong
Need you more than ever
Ya Rasul ALLAH

message

special message to unknown future wife:

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Dear ,

I've been searching for you. I do not know where you are. I believe u must've tried your best to become one good companion. I wonder if u miss me as much as i miss you. There's someone who's close to my heart. Is it you? I really need you along this way back to our real home, al-jannah. We'll go back together, shall we? Together we hold tight this 'rope', and not being astray. I'll try to follow his steps, and I hope u can follow his wifes' steps too.

^_~

Well that's all for now. I'm feeling funny messaging you this way. Someone must be laughing. XD